i'm losing myself

I realized a change but I'm not too sure the exact cause of it. I thought it was just me. Or probably my work lifestyle or the things I see in the media. Today, I watched a video and I realized how much it has impacted me, deeply.

The actions that affected me not instantly but slowly and subconsciously. When I see myself, I don't feel loved or even a good vibe within me. I felt depressed and unappreciative. Most times, I know it's wrong of me to feel that way. I pinch myself to make myself realize of the blessings I've been given and then, calmed myself to look at what I have instead of what i don't have.

Often i asked, 'Why do i even have such issues now?'

Maybe it started ever since I'm down with breakouts and even after I've recovered it, it takes time to build my self esteem back. It's not easy. People can tell me how i should feel but it's the thoughts within myself that I've to deal with. It's always a war within my head. A battle of losing and repairing myself.

Then, it made me realize, I've stopped loving myself. I need to take actions to regain back my old self. If i don't love myself, then who will?

No one has the right to make me hate myself. I should not let that happen.

Yours truly,
saf