Life is a gift to you, by god.

SAFFYGREENFREAK
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25/ Full time working, part time schooling.
im different, some just dont get it. dont judge, dont assume. green, shopping, sports, photography, metal, indie made me hyped!



-That's me




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Overwhelmed
Sunday, February 07, 2016 || 12:13 am


Yesterday, I was home late. Due to some commitments and today morning I had a class. On a Saturday morning, on my off day too, can you believe that? Having to wake up so early, travelled for about almost an hour journey, just to sit in a lecture.

However, I did it. I did it out of interest and passion. It's my will to pursue this and nothing can stop me from reaching my dreams. Of course, there are days where i'll procrastinate and so on but honestly, I've never enjoyed learning so much as compared to what I'm doing now. I thank god for given me this opportunity. In addition to that, the stuffs that I'm learning is applicable to daily lives. I learnt a lot on understanding people and its behaviour at the different stages of life.

This serves as a benefit for me, in order to understand the condition of my folks better. Somehow, it has enlightened me in teaching me to be more empathic towards others. So, mumsy shared her fair share of experience of being out with papsy the day before.

Somehow, that little information that I received touched me deeply because it opens up my eyes to how much sometimes, we are so focussed on our career and it's routine. More often than not, we neglected living life as how it should be lived.

So, really, there's just so much blessing in disguise after what has happened and god is the greatest with so much love towards its servants. I've learnt to value more and I guess this breakdown is really something worth going through.

Nobody say it was easy. The emotional phase that we went through as a whole and till this point, I wouldn't say things are back to how it was. It would never be but atleast, we learnt to make the most of what we have now. For that, Alhamdulillah.

On a lighter note, had quite a chatty date with ayg, catching up on a lot of issues, literally. Sometimes, we need to stop for a while and ask ourselves, is it worth sticking to a career that will only make you feel lousy as a person. Career is a lifetime commitment and if you're spending your life doing something that's destroying you, then, I think it's time to search for other alternatives.

Saying is easier than doing it. True enough, I couldn't agree more. In fact, I think my fellow friends of my age are more reserved or in a way not so much of a risk taker. We all know how competitive the market outside is. It takes time and patience, not to forget, perseverance as well. I was once in that stage of contemplating of switching career but due to unable to secure a stable position,I stick to where I am now. I really hope, in future, I'm able to do something different than what I'm doing now.

That's all for today's thought.

In conclusion, im thankful for having B, my positive energy.

Yours truly,
saf

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God is the best planner of all
Wednesday, January 27, 2016 || 12:37 am

Behind every hardship, there's always its reasons and true enough, it has brought a lot of positive effects on everyone around us.

Alhamdulillah for now, insyallah for future.


Yours truly,
saf

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Used to be
Thursday, January 21, 2016 || 7:22 pm

One of my favourite activity, is to explore the various hairstyles and I couldn't have the courage to do that if not for the good service and convincing hairstylist. I used to have long hair, way past my chest and just one fine day, I decided to snip it short. Ever since then, I think I'm sticking with short hair for the benefit of my scalp. So, recently, I've been keeping my hair till the point, I felt the strong urge to snip it again, and I went to visit my usual saloon located at Yishun, Kelly Hairdressing.

How disappointing to know my favourite stylist was no longer there. Yes, he ever mentioned to me about leaving the place but I didn't expect it to be so soon. From then on, I didn't have the confidence to try edgy style, afraid other stylist couldn't do a good job.

Guess, I was right. I wanted an undercut with bob layered. A lady attended to me assuring me that she was able to pull it off for me. I was..slightly not convinced but decided to just trust and give her a chance and well, it didn't look too bad but wasn't really the kind of look that imagined.

I stick with that look for days, then, a friend of mine took a picture of my undercut and to my horror, it wasn't neatly done and I thought. GRR!

So, one fine day, I was walking around Bugis+ and I passed by this hair saloon, Vintage Studio. I prefer to analyse the hair stylists because somehow, the way they present themselves, place a huge impact on my confidence in trusting them to snip my hair.

A guy attended to me and did a proper undercut and bob. Snipping my hair few inches and making it prim and proper. Only after the second haircut I had within days, I felt satisfied with his work and I guess, it won't be my last time visiting that saloon. :)

So, below is the name card given by my used to be favourite stylist. I heard from his colleagues he moved to Ang Mo Kio but I'm not sure exactly which saloon he went to but whoever who have any info on his whereabouts, please update me! hehe.

Thank you in advance. :) He's really good! My short hairstyles are all done by him.


That's all for today!

Yours truly,
saf

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Date with Fil
Monday, January 11, 2016 || 12:44 am

We shoot together but hardly catch up with each other. It's been quite some time since we last meet up and have hearty conversations. That lunch at Wing Zone was also due to a need if not, I guess, we would be lazy to go out. Going out on a weekend is such a drag for me. Every where will be crowded and you have to fight for seats, deal with the crowd and all. Not fun at all. However, I enjoyed being outside because I love people watch. There's just so many characters and styles which serves as an inspiration to me.

Glad to meet fil and looking forward for our next assignment.

That aside, Bugis has changed a lot! The basement is filled with even more attractive tasty snacks and Bugis+ is so much livelier now, seriously! It used to be so dead, hardly people frequent there except for the cinema but now, I think the stuffs sold there is way better that stuffs sold at Bugis Junction.

Guess, living here is all about changes. There's hardly much that we preserved. Its all about upgrading and improving and whatevernots.

That's all for today!





Yours truly,
saf

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From he we came, to him we return
Saturday, January 09, 2016 || 7:40 pm

Towards end of last year, it has been such an exhausting year for us as a whole. It started with prolonged cough that continues for about 2 months or so. He was being in denial, not wanting for further check ups despite not recovering even after several visits to the clinic.

Doctor even advised to go hospital for a more thorough check up but he refused to. Claiming that he'll get better in time. Unfortunately, eventually, it got worst. He was referred to the hospital. They did an x ray for him and found some abnormalities and he had to go for further checks etc. His condition got worst. His legs become swollen due to water retention and he was breathless most of the time. He was unable to sleep and night, kept coughing non stop. The kind of cough that wakes you up in the middle of the night because it's so disturbing and worrying.

I've had such a tough time just trying to persuade and convince to go for further checks and to go for proper treatment before it gets worst. To cut the story short, after about 3 appointments with the hospital, in which, it was advised that to be warded but he still stubbornly refused to, it lead to more complications.

The medicine given wasn't suitable with his body, it developed side effects. By then, he started to become very weak. It was till to the point, he still refused to be warded but because he needed the medical leave for his work, we resorted to go hospital for it. Even at the middle of the night in A&E, even nurses and doctor persuaded him to stay but he insisted on going home and we had no say but to follow his will.

I broke down, I fucking break down badly infront of his eyes just trying to persuade him to stay because I know of his condition and how his life is at stake and yet he gave all sorts of excuse just not to stay at the hospital. God knows how badly worries I was and thankfully at that period, I wasn't schooling or whatever. The next 2 days, ma & me accompanied him to the hospital for an appointment and by this time, it was really bad. Doctor personally said to him, 'I'm not here to ask for your permission to stay. I am here to tell you to stay because you're life is in danger. Your blood is so thin, you could bleed anytime. If you refused to stay now, the next few days, ambulance will be on the way to your house. Your heart is weak, lungs is weak and kidney is failing. You need to be warded as soon as possible.'

That significant day was the day he was admitted and I know at this point of time, there's nothing much that I could do except for praying and seeking for help from the almighty. Doctor talked to me personally, informing me that there will be a chance of failing if his condition is not stabilizing and asked us, as a whole to be prepared for it.

Now, how can I not get even more worried after hearing that? However, I kept calm and leave everything to the almighty. It was a sight that I assume none of you would want to go through. To see your loved ones in such a torturous condition. This incident made him broke down badly a few times because finally, it has come to his senses that his body is failing.

To my surprise after about 5 days or so, we could see improvement in his condition. We were so thankful for all the prayers from the relatives and others. Thankfully, Alhamdulillah, his condition started stabilizing and now, he's discharged and back at home, still not as strong as how he used to but alive and able to walk around.

For this, he was given a second chance. Throughout the period that he was in the hospital, it was also a chance for unexpected introduction and a moment of regaining a long lost cousin. I guess, there's always a reason and a positive side to every hardship that god has given us. Alhamdulillah for giving him a second chance and a chance for us to be reunited as one.









































Yours truly,
saf

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Weak and emotional
Tuesday, December 08, 2015 || 6:19 pm

I wouldn't want to be too hopeful at the same time, I'm preparing myself for the worst.

Last week, I went to Koh Lipe, an island in Thailand. They say it's the Maldives of Thailand and I had to see it to believe it. True enough, the island is such a beauty. For those who've yet to go there, I would suggest you to go. If you want to go Maldives but do not have the penny, you can consider Koh Lipe.

I took a ferry from Langkawi, Telaga Harbour. Tickets were booked online in advance. So, upon reaching Telaga Harbour, we were asked to fill the embarkation form to enter Koh Lipe. As Lipe is part of Thailand, it took quite sometime to settle the immigration stuff.

Telaga Harbour itself is such a pretty place to take shots over there. The ferry ride was about 1hour30mins or so. Once, we've reached at sea of Koh Lipe, we were transferred to a small bump boat to reach the shore of Koh Lipe.As for this, I would advise you to wear sandals or slippers as upon leaving the boat, your legs will be wet, up to your knee. Hence, for those who can wear shorts, good to wear.

However, those who can't please fold up your pants to avoid being wet. Unless you don't mind being wet. It is also advisable to bring back pack rather than luggage because the transfer from one boat to another etc and to drag your luggage on the beach, I just find it a hassle.

Our passports were endorsed and return ferry timing were confirmed again and off we go to find our hotel. We didn't refer to any map initially. We only asked for directions and search for our way on our own till we realized that probably, we were alittle too far off. Only then, we referred to the map.

True enough, we exceeded the location of our hotel. Once we figured our directions, we headed to our hotel and I think the location of our hotel was good. Somewhere in the middle of the Walking Street alley. We stayed at Lantern Inn. At the lobby, there's a Chinese restaurant. Beside our hotel, there's an Indian restaurant. If you walk towards the Walking Street alley, there's a massage parlour. It's all within walking distance.

The hotel that we stayed in was compact. It was enough for us. The toilet was small but that didn't really bother us as we didn't stay in the hotel most of the time. It was clean and we got to know this hotel was quite new, built in this year. I'll share some of the hotel pictures in my next post.

We planned to stay for 5d4n at Lipe but on the 3rd day, we realized if we didn't spend a night at Langkawi, we would be rushing to catch our return flight. Hence, we made a decision to leave on our 4th day. Changing of date for return ferry to Langkawi was very easy. We approached the immigration counter and informed the person in charge. That's all.

Activities we did at Lipe were island hopping, snorkelling, kayak from an island to another island, massage, play by the beach and eat, a lot. There were a few halal restaurants there. So it's quite easy to find halal food there. If you like nightlife, which I don't mind going for but they only have bars. They also have bar which has movie at certain timings etc.

I love the ambience of the bars there. It has this cosy, chillax feel that you can just go to drink and read a book or spent time with someone you love.

Last day, we spent a day at Langkawi, The thought of shisha by the beach was dampened by the heavy rain in the afternoon. We spent time shopping and eating there. Shopping at Langkawi is way cheaper as compared to Lipe. Somehow, stuffs at Lipe are pretty much priced similar to my country.

That's pretty much about my recent trip.

On the other hand...things are not really getting better. News been revealed and so far, response is neutral I would say?

Well, I just hope that if things were meant to be, it will happen no matter what.

Yours truly,
saf

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My 25th!
Monday, November 30, 2015 || 1:09 am

Just 3 days back I celebrated my special day with the people I adore. I received numerous wishes coming from various people and even some unexpected people too! Felt blessed that I'm remembered to certain people. Alhamdulillah for all the blessings. I think the best gift that I had for myself is the fact that now both parties knows of us and it really felt good that we're known. :)

Back to my special day..i was about to fall asleep when I received a call from B to go downstairs. Aww, he tried surprising me on that night itself. Hee. Well, that was really unexpected coming from him. Indeed, he's more cunning than me. Got to meet him for 3 days straight! This is precious because we don't get to meet so often due to our shifts.

I'm not quite sure how he knows that I'm eyeing at one of the photography stuff in which, if I could recall vividly, I don't remember telling him that. Hmm..nevertheless, so thankful that I got it! Wee. Lucky, I didn't purchase it as yet. I was so close to getting it. That special day too was the first time B met Ma and others. Except for Pa though. I had a short supper with my loved ones and that pretty much sums up my special day.

Tomorrow will be the day I'm flying off again and lets hope my vacay will go smoothly. Insyallah.
Pray for my safety! :))

Love B, dearly. Thank you for everything.





































Yours truly,
saf

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Last lap was over!
Wednesday, November 18, 2015 || 1:43 pm

Finally, after days of mugging, it was over. Completed my first lap gracefully. It has been an enriching experience to be able to complete this. I thought I would have difficulties coping with the various roles that I'm holding now but thank god for the strength and proper time management, I'm able to complete it.

I still have 2 more laps to go and I can't wait for it to be over and seek for new opportunities! A good way to spend the end of my first lap, was to spend a date with B. I did the SDS survey on him and surprisingly we had 2 common categories. I was telling him how we're opposite in many ways yet have some commonalities on some aspects. hehehe! He falls perfectly in the middle categories.

Little did I expect that, we've passed our 2. Being with a simple guy makes life simpler in many ways. Sometimes, too simple that I felt that I wanted more! Nevertheless, always blessed and thankful for a supportive partner.

Few shooting assignments coming up and I'm looking forward to get it on.

Oh, and I received news from B that makes me all anxious but I shouldn't get my hopes up high. Just pray for the best and let nature takes it course. :)

Yours truly,
saf

011115 I Maternity / Mother & baby Photoshoot
Tuesday, November 03, 2015 || 8:48 pm

I wanted to do some fun shots as a form of stress reliever. Or should I say I miss shooting? Hehe, both of it yes. Got my girlfriend to be my model and another one as my assistant. It was definitely fun shooting and it's my first time doing a mother and son shoot. Now, I understand the challenges of taking shots of little one. Thank you dear gfs for the time. Enjoy the pictures!


Yours truly,
saf

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Volcano Erupted
Friday, October 23, 2015 || 12:59 pm

It was supposed to be a joyous occasion where I get to meet all the blood related familiar faces and you turned up as usual but little did we expect, a common topic that someone brought up, triggered your anger and you blew it there and then.

We all know you have issue with this and this become a common topic among the close ones and you got pressured with all these commotion going on. You can choose to ignore and reflect on your actions whether are you really in the wrong or are they spreading something that is untrue. And if it wasn't true as what you mentioned, why is there a need to be so defensive about it?

As human, people will always talk about you regardless of whether it is a good deed or otherwise. If we choose to let ourself to absorb all these negativity within us, what good does it do to yourself. You will only end up feeling frustrated, angry, pissed, humiliated and the list go on. And if you could just brush it off and treat it like it's not really a big deal because really, I don't find it a big deal, then, you wouldn't add to yourself unnecessary pressure along with the health condition you are in.

So, we were called upon for a 'lecture' but the way you put it, it seemed that you're pushing the blame to us, yet again. But no, not this time. I've been keeping mum all these while and just observing your ways. No matter how many times I see how badly you treat the people who cared for you, I kept it all inside. Thinking that being ignorant to it is the best way of dealing this.

I was wrong. The fact that everyone did not mention about this, it actually worsened the condition. It gets worst when you're in this state. Initially, I thought it's just a phase of life that I've to go through but witnessing this and your negative mindset towards your close ones, it has come to a point that I need to make you realize for all these shit that we've been going through, your actions is not making things better, in anyway.

I admit I was being ignorant to your condition or maybe I would want to try to care more but I'm clueless on how to go about doing it. My heart feels heavy everytime I feel like doing it. It is tougher to carry it out as compared to thinking about it. This culture been going on for years and to go against the culture, there will always be pros and cons.

Somehow, I felt blessed that I took what I'm learning now because it helps me better in reading your emotions and to communicate more effectively. However, it takes 2 hands to clap, to make things better. There will always be conflict in a relationship and it's a matter on how you would want to solve things effectively. If you want to keep the mindset of 'I'm always right'. 'no one should tell me what to do', then, trust me, it will never solve things.

All I can say is, I can try my every fucking way of trying to make you realize but if you don't want to make a change within yourself then so be it. No one can ever help you unless you want to help yourself.

I am tired of this shit and little did you know that all these shit has caused such a trauma and negative impact on me and my loved ones. Again, I want to highlight that I'm not blaming you for the way you are. However, right now, you have a choice to let it control you or you take control of it. For the better of tomorrow.

Always in my prayers, now and forever. Truly, love you, with all my heart.

Yours truly,
saf