“Your destiny lies within your decisions. Click, to rewind.”
Last lap was over!
Wednesday, November 18, 2015 || 1:43 p.m.
Finally, after days of mugging, it was over. Completed my first lap gracefully. It has been an enriching experience to be able to complete this. I thought I would have difficulties coping with the various roles that I'm holding now but thank god for the strength and proper time management, I'm able to complete it.
I still have 2 more laps to go and I can't wait for it to be over and seek for new opportunities! A good way to spend the end of my first lap, was to spend a date with B. I did the SDS survey on him and surprisingly we had 2 common categories. I was telling him how we're opposite in many ways yet have some commonalities on some aspects. hehehe! He falls perfectly in the middle categories.
Little did I expect that, we've passed our 2. Being with a simple guy makes life simpler in many ways. Sometimes, too simple that I felt that I wanted more! Nevertheless, always blessed and thankful for a supportive partner.
Few shooting assignments coming up and I'm looking forward to get it on.
Oh, and I received news from B that makes me all anxious but I shouldn't get my hopes up high. Just pray for the best and let nature takes it course. :)
011115 I Maternity / Mother & baby Photoshoot
Tuesday, November 03, 2015 || 8:48 p.m.
I wanted to do some fun shots as a form of stress reliever. Or should I say I miss shooting? Hehe, both of it yes. Got my girlfriend to be my model and another one as my assistant. It was definitely fun shooting and it's my first time doing a mother and son shoot. Now, I understand the challenges of taking shots of little one. Thank you dear gfs for the time. Enjoy the pictures!
Labels: GIRLFRIEND, MATERNITY, MOTHER AND BABY, PHOTOGRAPHY
Friday, October 23, 2015 || 12:59 p.m.
It was supposed to be a joyous occasion where I get to meet all the blood related familiar faces and you turned up as usual but little did we expect, a common topic that someone brought up, triggered your anger and you blew it there and then.
We all know you have issue with this and this become a common topic among the close ones and you got pressured with all these commotion going on. You can choose to ignore and reflect on your actions whether are you really in the wrong or are they spreading something that is untrue. And if it wasn't true as what you mentioned, why is there a need to be so defensive about it?
As human, people will always talk about you regardless of whether it is a good deed or otherwise. If we choose to let ourself to absorb all these negativity within us, what good does it do to yourself. You will only end up feeling frustrated, angry, pissed, humiliated and the list go on. And if you could just brush it off and treat it like it's not really a big deal because really, I don't find it a big deal, then, you wouldn't add to yourself unnecessary pressure along with the health condition you are in.
So, we were called upon for a 'lecture' but the way you put it, it seemed that you're pushing the blame to us, yet again. But no, not this time. I've been keeping mum all these while and just observing your ways. No matter how many times I see how badly you treat the people who cared for you, I kept it all inside. Thinking that being ignorant to it is the best way of dealing this.
I was wrong. The fact that everyone did not mention about this, it actually worsened the condition. It gets worst when you're in this state. Initially, I thought it's just a phase of life that I've to go through but witnessing this and your negative mindset towards your close ones, it has come to a point that I need to make you realize for all these shit that we've been going through, your actions is not making things better, in anyway.
I admit I was being ignorant to your condition or maybe I would want to try to care more but I'm clueless on how to go about doing it. My heart feels heavy everytime I feel like doing it. It is tougher to carry it out as compared to thinking about it. This culture been going on for years and to go against the culture, there will always be pros and cons.
Somehow, I felt blessed that I took what I'm learning now because it helps me better in reading your emotions and to communicate more effectively. However, it takes 2 hands to clap, to make things better. There will always be conflict in a relationship and it's a matter on how you would want to solve things effectively. If you want to keep the mindset of 'I'm always right'. 'no one should tell me what to do', then, trust me, it will never solve things.
All I can say is, I can try my every fucking way of trying to make you realize but if you don't want to make a change within yourself then so be it. No one can ever help you unless you want to help yourself.
I am tired of this shit and little did you know that all these shit has caused such a trauma and negative impact on me and my loved ones. Again, I want to highlight that I'm not blaming you for the way you are. However, right now, you have a choice to let it control you or you take control of it. For the better of tomorrow.
Always in my prayers, now and forever. Truly, love you, with all my heart.
3d2n Tioman trip with my babes & Dzu
Monday, October 12, 2015 || 5:40 p.m.
I wanted to bring my babes on a vacation. Just us, without the folks. Well, I would want to bring the whole group if condition permits. Unfortunately, I can't. Apart from that, I've been wanting to travel with Dzu because we keep talking about it but haven't got the opportunity to do so.
So, I started doing some research on my own. Looking for places that doesn't require much travelling time or expenses and finally, I found it! Tioman it is! I booked mine through Discovery Tours & Travel Pte Ltd. It is my first time signing up with them and I totally love the fact that it's hassle free! I do not have to go down personally to the agency just to pay deposit etc. Everything is done via online. Of course, I was in doubt whether they are trustable. However, I read through the reviews and so far, it's all positive reviews and I called to check with them personally and the service provided was very reliable.
My package consist of coach, ferry, hotel, 3 meals + snorkelling activity.
Overall, highly recommended for those first timers. I compared the prices with other agency and can conclude that this is most cheapest! No kid.
Anyway, my hotel was at Paya Beach Resort. Such a lovely stay and wouldn't mind coming back again. Alhamdulillah for this short and relaxing getaway, just what I needed. :)
Labels: FAMILY, FRIENDS, HOLIDAY, TRAVEL
Thursday, October 01, 2015 || 5:55 p.m.
As I grew older, she's aging faster than we expect. Last 2 days was her special day. I took leave, supposedly to attend my classes but I thought, skipping it for family dinner wouldn't harm right? Anyway, it's hard for us to have family dinner so often due to our different schedule. I brought the babes to Bali Thai, except for paps, who's been cranky.
It was a good dinner, Alhamdulillah. When it comes to getting gift, I'm clueless because can't find much unique stuff to get for her. hehe. But ended up I got a simple gift.
On this special, I want to thank god for giving much a caring mama, who never fail to look out for her daughters despite how stubborn or ignorant we are. She's the best model of a mum that I can think of. She's working but never abandoned her duties as a wife and mum. She tolerated people who gave her attitude with much patience and she's always thinking of her loved ones more than herself. She's that selfless.
I pray that you'll always be placed among the good ones, be blessed with health and happiness. Thank you for raising me up, no words or deeds can repay your kindness. I hope one day, if I were to be a mum, I would have such qualities.
Love you, ibu.
Visit to Bunny and Pony
Thursday, September 24, 2015 || 1:03 a.m.
I saw one of my friend who visited this café and thought that this café has quite an interesting concept in serving cotton candy with waffles. The presentation itself makes it look appealing and so, B being very kind, as always, agreed to this café.
It was quite new, I think, because the last time me and B passed by change village, we didn't realize this café. Indeed, we were right because that corner used to be a pub. I loved the ambience of the café, very cosy. When we visited, there weren't much crowd at all. I was really making it like my own place taking shots and all. A cosy café to sit and chill with the people you love.
We ordered one waffle and 2 scoops of flavours. Their waffles is about 2.5/5, nothing wow. Just that the ice cream flavours, there were some unique flavours. Mine was lavender something, I couldn't recall properly. It wasn't that sweet and I love the richness of the flavour. B thought the lavender taste was quite overpowering..
That night, we ended off with conversations by the beach. I've always loved that! It never gets boring. hee!
Mardhiah's Wedding and an unexpected surprise!
Tuesday, September 22, 2015 || 4:22 p.m.
Due to my hectic schedule, I hardly have the time to do proper updates.
Anyway, on 13 September, I attended an ex-close friend of mine wedding. The reason why I say ex close friend is because really, we used to be very close during our secondary school years. We had the same CCA, she'll always be there, waiting for me before we go together for our trainings. We shared a lot of common interest and did stupid things together. Bottom line, she's such a good reliable friend. I guess, as we aged, we got busy with our own lives, not as close as how we used to be.
Nevertheless, there is no awkwardness whenever we meet up. We can still talk about anything and everything under the sun. Her wedding was held separately, 2 days. 1 hers, the next day, was the groom's side. Unfortunately, I was unable to attend her wedding on her side due to my hectic schedule and I thought she wouldn't keep track of my presence.
However, my mom attended the wedding with her colleagues as both our mums were colleagues. So, upon encountering with Mar herself, she actually questioned about my presence. That really touched me in some ways, leaving me feeling guilty of not attending her special day.
And so, the next day, I headed down to the East, just to attend her special day on the groom's side before rushing to work then after. Indeed, it was a blessing to witness this blissful moment of hers. I pretty think they're very compatible with each other. May their marriage be filled with much love and joy. Insyallah, amin.
So, school on the other side is going good. It was pretty hectic for the last few weeks, it's draining me. Affecting me emotionally as well. In addition to that, things at home were not going smoothly, everything was in chaos and B was affected too. Despite the tough days, I'm glad to say things are going smoothly now, Alhamdulillah. Thank you god for the strength and patience given.
I did presentation, a final one for this module. Little did I know, one of my team members is a photographer/videographer!! That was such a pleasant surprise. In fact, he approached me and ask me more about my progress etc. Even offered to guide me through. We are all learning and I'm looking forward to learn more, definitely!
I didn't plan to be a photographer or even thought of people calling me as one. It all started as my interest in capturing shots and slowly, people are asking quotations etc I'm thankful for the trust and opportunity given and yes, I know I have a lot of weaknesses in my works, which is the reason I want to learn so much more.
But first, I need to freaking sort my picturessss!!! Too many pictures, 2 hard disk. Damn, I need to be more organize!!
Done for today, looking forward to a date later! :)
Labels: FRIENDS, SCHOOL, wedding
300915 I Wedding of Elfe + Amylina
Sunday, September 13, 2015 || 2:04 a.m.
Throwback to the beautiful event that I was invited to. B's mum asked to dress according to the color code and I was having hard time finding a nice affordable dress in that color. The event was filled with yummy foods but I was feeling alittle out of place and erm..didn't eat as much as I should. :(
Now I'm feeling regret of not eating more than I should because the variety of delicacies provided was impressive. It was nice to witness his lil bro getting hitched and meeting his lovely close ones. One thing for sure, his mama was very approachable, making me feel comfortable and all.
I shall upload my fav shot for the event in my next post.
'Sometimes, we need to be hurt in order to grow. We must lose in order to gain. Sometimes, some lessons are learned best through pain.'
In conclusion, i'll always pray and leave it to the almighty. If it's meant to be, it will. And if it isn't, I believe god is the best planner of all. :)
A sweet surprise
Friday, September 04, 2015 || 9:24 a.m.
For the past few nights had trouble sleeping at night. Sometimes, pms can be such a bitch and it could be even worst if some things that doesn't go your way during these bitchy times and it turned me to be a bitch.
I hate it when I'm turning to one. Then, all the negativity starts sinking in and I started to be vulnerable and I can't think of other solutions. My sorrows starts to overtake me and it is one of the worst feelings ever. Because no matter how much I tried to be positive, I cant. In addition to that, not being able to pray is worst because prayer helps to calm dear soul.
I know of course I still can say some prayers without practically doing it but it still feels different.
Sometimes, when I'm so helpless all I do best is to fade away. And just when I was pulling myself away, you came...
And it's the least that I expected. I don't know but I did ask god that to help me feel better because I'm feeling so helpless. Then, I don't know what happened.
It's as if my prayers are answered and love, it healed me.
I came to realize that the qualities that has been missing from the ones who took care of me is the qualities that I'm searching for in a partner. It's true, expectations leads to disappointment and maybe, I should adjust mine.
Thank you dear B, your presence means a lot to me. :)
The day my childhood close one got hitched!
Sunday, August 30, 2015 || 9:58 p.m.
Yesterday was my first time attending Night Festival and boy was I overwhelmed with the crowd. The layout of the booth and space really need some improvement. It was bad. I think they didn't consider the crowd, having to jaywalk etc In order to witness the performance, some stand by the streets etc. Not much seating places and due to the crowd, can't really enjoy the whole festival thingy.
It was a festival, there's booze and all, that's fine. But drunken people here and there are such an eyesore. You should jolly well know your limits while drinking. Not as if this is a party. There's families etc and here you are drunk and becoming merlion. zzz.
My day started off with meeting my pbg gang! It's been decades since I last saw them and nothing much change, still filled with much nonsense and laughter whenever we meet. :)) Dzuzu was kind enough to fetch me and little did I know, she brought be around Singapore just to reach Pasir Ris from where I was. Butt was sore but it was a learning experience for both of us. ;p
Later in the evening, I went to my close childhood mate, who got hitched. Alhamdulillah for you. So happy to witness her beautiful event. Guess, more weddings to come in time?
On another note, if you don't have anything nice to say. It's best to shut up. I don't wish to be surrounded with people who have so much negativity in them. I shall just mind my own business, and you live the way you've always wanted.