So much is coming in
At this stage in my life, I'm only in the beginning of a new journey but I'm enjoying what I'm doing so much because I get to learn so much which concerns us and our lives. It is unimaginable how the human life development starts from infant till we aged. The kind of support and attachment that we received from our parents has such a big impact to the kind of person that we are today.
With that being said, I wonder upon those who grew up without any biological parents or been brought up with much pressure and hostility, it's a pity how such innocent souls are brought up in such environment. Indeed, the socioeconomic status of the individual also plays a big influence on the well being of the kid. I wouldn't say that my family is well off but we are just average and I'm thankful and blessed that despite the shortcomings, my parents managed to bring me up successfully academically along with positive interpersonal skills.
This new information that I'm learning is opening my world so much to how we should treat our little ones, how we should behave around them and how the kind of environment influences the well being of the child.
I had a friend who turned out to be unhappy most of the time, filled with aggression and hostility within oneself and have poor peer relations. From what I knew, she was brought up in an authoritarian parenting style, where the parents were very strict towards her. Limiting her abilities and threatening her throughout her life. That resulted her in being rebellious and fearful most of the time. Her ways of rebelling were usually done behind the eyes of her parents. She rebelled by resorting to taking harmful substances which could damage her health. Not only that, she has some anger management issues. That showed her poor handling in emotion regulation. She even resorted to violence at some point in her life when she's blinded with jealousy and angst.
Later on, I got to know more about her parents. Not only, they brought her up in such a rigid and hostile environment but also, she was physically abused throughout her life especially during childhood to adolescence. It was really that bad at that fact that her mother used to restrain her from struggling while the dad physically abused her. That was their way of disciplining her.
In my opinion, that incident could probably influence her sexuality in being gay now. It was probably due to the fact that she was abused badly in the past by a man, that it is hard for her to feel secured, receive love and warmth from a guy. This is just my hypothesis. As I've learnt how past experiences affects the way we are in the present. However, I didn't get the opportunity to personally ask her with regards to these issues.
Now, we can't really blame an individual who behaved in such ways. What we could do is helping them through whatever means that we could. If they need that emotional support that they've been missing through their life, we help them by being there. Of course, one who don't have a deep understanding in the child's development might give such comments as 'she's old enough. she could think what's good and bad for herself. instead of letting the past affects her.'
Well, probably... But, it is not that easy to be done. Most of the time, these group of people should go through counselling or therapy to help them understand and regulate their emotions better but they don't. In fact, they are clueless they are actually in need of such therapy. Most of the time, they thought that they're perfectly normal and they do not have any idea how their past experiences actually influences them as to how they are now.
So, to my dear readers, the next time when you meet a troubled individual, do not jump to assumptions as you don't know the kind of shit they went through.
Help them, help yourself. When you're a parent, feed your little ones with love, warmth and much comfort.
I will share more of what I've learnt as time goes by. This is just some 2-cents worth of what I've learnt so far.
Yours truly,
saf
With that being said, I wonder upon those who grew up without any biological parents or been brought up with much pressure and hostility, it's a pity how such innocent souls are brought up in such environment. Indeed, the socioeconomic status of the individual also plays a big influence on the well being of the kid. I wouldn't say that my family is well off but we are just average and I'm thankful and blessed that despite the shortcomings, my parents managed to bring me up successfully academically along with positive interpersonal skills.
This new information that I'm learning is opening my world so much to how we should treat our little ones, how we should behave around them and how the kind of environment influences the well being of the child.
I had a friend who turned out to be unhappy most of the time, filled with aggression and hostility within oneself and have poor peer relations. From what I knew, she was brought up in an authoritarian parenting style, where the parents were very strict towards her. Limiting her abilities and threatening her throughout her life. That resulted her in being rebellious and fearful most of the time. Her ways of rebelling were usually done behind the eyes of her parents. She rebelled by resorting to taking harmful substances which could damage her health. Not only that, she has some anger management issues. That showed her poor handling in emotion regulation. She even resorted to violence at some point in her life when she's blinded with jealousy and angst.
Later on, I got to know more about her parents. Not only, they brought her up in such a rigid and hostile environment but also, she was physically abused throughout her life especially during childhood to adolescence. It was really that bad at that fact that her mother used to restrain her from struggling while the dad physically abused her. That was their way of disciplining her.
In my opinion, that incident could probably influence her sexuality in being gay now. It was probably due to the fact that she was abused badly in the past by a man, that it is hard for her to feel secured, receive love and warmth from a guy. This is just my hypothesis. As I've learnt how past experiences affects the way we are in the present. However, I didn't get the opportunity to personally ask her with regards to these issues.
Now, we can't really blame an individual who behaved in such ways. What we could do is helping them through whatever means that we could. If they need that emotional support that they've been missing through their life, we help them by being there. Of course, one who don't have a deep understanding in the child's development might give such comments as 'she's old enough. she could think what's good and bad for herself. instead of letting the past affects her.'
Well, probably... But, it is not that easy to be done. Most of the time, these group of people should go through counselling or therapy to help them understand and regulate their emotions better but they don't. In fact, they are clueless they are actually in need of such therapy. Most of the time, they thought that they're perfectly normal and they do not have any idea how their past experiences actually influences them as to how they are now.
So, to my dear readers, the next time when you meet a troubled individual, do not jump to assumptions as you don't know the kind of shit they went through.
Help them, help yourself. When you're a parent, feed your little ones with love, warmth and much comfort.
I will share more of what I've learnt as time goes by. This is just some 2-cents worth of what I've learnt so far.
Yours truly,
saf
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