Emperor Spa @ Eu Tong Sen St

i HATE it.
see no one understand me. like honestly, not even my family members.
n for tt ppl kept assuming things which are not true.
having several mood swings, adds on to the burden.
yar. crap.
full of shit.

see i hav my own reason fer doing sth.
so dun juz judge me just like tt.
its of no use.
even if i tell. or say wads within
its nt as if ppl understand.
so why shld i bother to even say it out.

pray tt i'll die early.
tt's abt it.
den i wun b a burden to d society.
im weird.
ppl juz dun get it see.
mayb dey juz dunnu d real meang of it.
bt honestly.
i love evri1.
esp my fam.
i juz cant seem to express my love.
or mayb ppl are juz to pessimistic tt dey had nt realise
d way i express love.
see sumtymes ppl can love me at one moment n hate me d nxt.
tt d reason fer tt is bcos dey cant tolerate my weirdness.
yar. i cant trust anione.
tell me DO i hav a choice??

dey dun understand me.
tts abt it.
gosh i hate myself.
i hate to make ppl hate me.
do i hav a choice?
its shit.full of shit.
hate me fer ol u wan.
curse me swear me.
or even pray for me to die earlier.
den it'd better.
i'd b gone fer gd.

is this d way i get in return.
im stubborn.
im rebellious.
im cynical.
i use vulgarities.
im rude.

yar tts wat ppl say abt me.
bt its juz me.
ppl cant seem to accept me fer hu i am.
mayb im d one.
im just egoistic i guess.
bt d real fact is. im very kind inside.
yar. ok i shldnt say im kind. see ppl wun trust me ryte?
derr's no use.what for havin me.
n in d end u wan to throw me out?
u juz dunnu.dont you?
arh. let it be.


bt i dun tink so.
see i alwaes think of evri1 else b4 me.
so much of what i've done.
or mayb i havent do much at all.
or wadeva it is.
shld i juz be myself.
or shld i change to b sum1 else who is loved by everi1 except myself.
bcos im fakin myself.

god.
im blessed. to hav god.
within me.
derrs juz no other place fer me to let out wads within.
besides.praying to god.
god understand me most.
n im glad to noe god.
thank god.

For those hu dun understand what im sayin. dun bother to understand.
its meant fer me. n juz to those hu understand.

loves,
saf.